Life goes on!

I just watch EAT PRAY LOVE. Its all about finding yourself. How do I find myself? I can't just take a year away. I need to make some life changes, but how do you do it. How do you wake up and say today I will be different. Today day I will eat right, exercise, be a better mom, a better wife and a better person. I want more out of life. I am in a rut and I can't seem to climb out. I can't sleep and I don't eat right.

The new year is just around the corner. Should I makes promises I won't keep. Should I say I am going to accomplish everything on my want list. I really should just be thankful of what I have. I have a great family. I live in a nice rental house. We pay our bills somewhat on time. Things could be worse. Some people have it a lot worse than I. I always hated that saying get over our self because some people have it worse. Who's right is it to judge who's life is worse. This year has sucked for my family. I have lost a lot of people I loved and we have had to make some really big changes in our life. This was a bad year. A year I am glad is over.

I think I will make those promises and so what if I brake them at least I tried. Maybe I'll start writing more. I don't know if anyone reads what I write but so what. If it helps me sleep at night than who cares. Maybe by getting it off my chest I will clear my head and when I lay down at night sleep will come easier. Maybe reading what I write will help other people. I love when I receive comments. Well good night all maybe I'll sleep tonight!

Been a while!

Well its been a while since my last blog. I need to vent and this seems to be the best place to do it. I really need a job. I have been looking every where and filling out applications like crazy. Money is so tight right now and I feel like it is all my fault. We had to set limits on how much to spend on the kids and we put it on credit cards. Even though that limit was $125 on each child it did not go far. My daughter is 10 and everything she wants costs so much money that she only ends up with like two things under the tree. Even Jayden who is 2 only ended up with like 4 things under the tree. I remember when I was a child we did not get expensive stuff but we ended up with a ton of gifts.
Maybe I should not let it bother me but I do. We are falling behind in our monthly bills because of the move, Christmas and just life. I really hate that I don't help solve these problems. Everyone keeps saying just finish school then you find a job. What if that's not true?